"But I'm good at being uncomfortable, so I can't stop changing all the time."

Something about the summer light in boulder is better than other light, like New York City light in October. Maybe its all the missing pink polos which have returned to California in suitcases that free the light to do its rubber ball bounce. Or maybe it has to do with being on the "just-before" part of the mountains in the "just-before" of the equinox. Regardless, the trees are almost done making leaves and they look like chlorophyll-injected half dollars in the mid day dice-rolling handshakes of light.



Iron Eyes says: "You will be more than fine/ much change, solidarity, and fun on its way." I know him to have one of those particularly good gut muscles that allows me to trust his preminissons, even when he has a sinus infection, which he does.

Its been an intense week. I had some aching teeth I had to remove-- when one was discarded, he tattled on his partner, so she had to go too. It sucks having a hole in my mouth but it beats being in pain or loosing my jaw. And I've been pretty good about not playing with the fleshy bits they left in their absences. Better than absesses. Or abysses. ...Or drama I don't need. I'm pretty awesome at doubting my own potential, so having people around who also try to keep me from that potential are unnecessary. Obviously this kind of a wound requires a lot of fiona apple, alchohal and other substance assisted "turning-off", and much time spent with the people I still have in my life.

I spent most of the last few days at this house that a friend-of-a-friend's was house sitting. It belongs to the people who started White Wave natural foods company (they make silk soy milk). The space is very bhuddist inspired (they are bhuddists) with a smaller mediattion house. They also have a naturally filterd pool, which is kind of like a lake, and those really yummy falling rain showers. We went skinny dipping, smoked septiva and played with their puppy (who was named boddy after the Bodishatvas). I met this wonderful girl who is a woman's studies major, and shes wonderful to talk to. She ended a long term relationship yesterday, so we have a lot in common and hopefully we will be seeing a lot of each other in the future. She's lovely. Wonderfull. A lot.

"What wasted,
unconditional love--
on somebody who doesn't believe in that stuff.
Oh well."